i am teh_baconbear.

fine, i'll do it.

March is question month for me too, now. comments are screened, anonymous is allowed, and IP logging is off. throw me a comment in this here post and i'll answer it in a new one.

let us put aside discussions on gender politics and assume that these proponents of "The Masculine Lifestyle Community" operate on traditional western gender roles as we witness this screen capture from their website:

ever since we first read about it in Steve Almond's Candyfreak, enzie and i have been on the lookout for the Five Star Bar, a gourmet candy bar made by Lake Champlain Chocolates. we searched a recently-opened candy boutique to no avail, and inspected Greenwich VIllage's Gourmet Garage with similar disappointment.
today started as ordinarily as any other monday during winter break - i slept in late, ran a few errands, and ate lunch with friends. with bellies full of pel'meni dumplings, angie and i walked down state street.
"do you want to go into Community Pharmacy?" she asked as we waited for the light at the other end of the crosswalk to change, "i haven't been there in a while."
"sure," i replied, "i need to get some more toothpaste anyways."

the light changed and we crossed the street. we walked into the pharmacy and smiled at the young black-haired woman behind the counter. i glanced at the candy, as i always do, and silently mulled over whether or not i wanted to get a box of Panda brand black liquorice chews. we looked over the condoms and lube together, then split up so that i could select an appropriate dentifrice.

angie came over.
she grabbed me.
"look, jeff! they have it!"

i followed her finger to the four columns of chocolate chunks labelled "caramel," "hazelnut," "peanut," and "fruit & nut." the logo on each paper wrapper confirmed that these were, indeed, Five Star Bars. the their right sat Lake Champlain's Signature and Filled bars.
crouched on the ground, we giggled and marvelled over our good fortune. after mulling over which $2 chocolates to get, i picked up a hazelnut Five Star Bar and she a Raspberry Truffle Filled Bar. we paid for the chocolates and walked out of the pharmacy.
we walked into a nearby café, ordered drinks, and sat down in a pair of wicker chairs. after a couple sips of cafe au lait and bitter almond italian soda, i ceremoniously unwrapped the hazelnut bar to reveal a simple milk-chocolate enrobed prism - clean, crisp lines, flat faces. not at all like the ribbonlike surface of a Milky Way.
angie took a butterknife and sliced the bar in half. the inside was nearly the same colour as the outside. a light speck of hazelnut stood out against its brown surroundings.
i picked up a half and took a bite.
my teeth broke gently through the chocolate exterior, then glided through a filling akin to an especially nutty and aromatic mass of Nutella. it melted into a thick, creamy paste on my tongue. i chewed and my teeth met tender chunks of nut and crispy flakes of crushed feuilletine. i lay back in my chair with a sign and swallowed.
angie followed suit. together, we slowly and deliberately finished the bar, moaning in pleasure and commenting on quality of the chocolate - unlike common Hershey chocolate, this chocolate finished cleanly without sticking to the roof of the mouth or leaving a sour aftertaste.

with the fabled Five Star Bar consumed, angie unwrapped the Raspberry Truffle bar. we were instantly impressed by the exceptionally well-tempered dark chocolate shell - it shone with a glossy sheen akin to polished stone. she lifted a corner of the chocolate and snapped off two pillows of chocolate-covered truffle. it broke sharply and cleanly with a very satisfying pop.
the truffle inside the square was also made from dark chocolate, and the raspberry flavour didn't come until the candy had sat in the mouth for a few seconds of chocolately sweetness. the shell itself was brittle and crisp, a dark chocolate that exhibited fruity and coffeelike aromas. the bite finished with a pleasantly tart aftertaste. again, the chocolate was clean-melting and not sticky.

we each had two pillows of the truffle bar - all in all, less than a single Mars bar's worth of candy. even so, we sat back, perfectly sated and with big grins on our faces, basking in the afterglow.
"better than sex" is cliché, but these chocolates truly were.

my father found out about Ed and gave me a choice:

i could go to San Francisco and be Ed's "little wife"
or
i could stay home and remain a member of the Lan family.

Ed and i had a long, tearful talk on the telephone. my month in SF has been called off. i'm staying in New Jersey. as much as we love each other, i'm not ready to lose my source of funding for school yet. i'm not ready to lose my health insurance. i'm not ready to lose my entire family, much as i hate them for making me do this.

i'm sorry, Ed...i love you.

in other news, this will be my very last public post. i will friend everyone who isn't a mutual friend back.

gay men talk about sex. a lot. it's a pretty damn big part of our lives, considering it's what's ostracised us from the mainstream.

gay sex can be a little "untraditional." this is because our parents, churches, and schools don't teach us how to have it. this is also part of why we talk about sex.

because of the above two things, i don't think they're anything sick and disgusting about a certain friend of mine mentioning in his online profile that he likes group sex. i'll be damned if a certain relative of mine is going to change that.

my sister found Ed's journal, complete with profile about sexual interests.

she thinks we're disgusting. she thinks he's a "dirty old man."

so that makes 2 members of my family that hate him and think that he's immoral and evil...

erica_the_vegan

dammit, quit posting about how easy it is to be a vegan and how fun eating vegan food is and yayhooray for veganism!

from Aftenposten, a big Norwegian newspaper